Ratmachines.com

Philosophy

Positive Philosophy

—5—

Reaching this moment is a fall into a general collapse. Collapse sends out waves then resolves the manifold into unity. Entering into resolution then removes discrimination: — since we have nothing to say our words begin to lose importance. Without this loss we would spiral downwards until we reached a place we held to be first. This first is the magnet we hold out towards ourselves, and serves as the primary obstacle. In being first it draws the most powerfully. Absorbing as we do the sent-out as used and so not useful we point ourselves into this moving away. As dispersed we do not hold ourselves together; it is in this apparently paradoxical situation that we begin to make demands on ourselves. While we recognize that there can be no freedom in such confines we nevertheless fear that as dispersed and so apparently open there is nothing to gain or lose. Our engagement in this mistaken train of thought thus becomes an excuse which begins to lead us spiraling into oblivion – we are dead and hold onto precisely this condition as life, which is a somewhat odd twist. Without revealing too much we would like to say something, but of course find that to be an impossible way to even begin to approach the matter. The primary devolves into a signaling which itself turns to and thus away from something. The matter of listening coagulates and so becomes too dense to penetrate. Without resolving at all we stare fixedly, focused in on we believe while within what we have held as fact there lies an uneasy recognition that this is not the way. This first recognition is the precise moment in which the possibility of freedom first presents itself. This possibility becomes the pivot which quite literally takes us into its grasp. Without such a movement there could not possibly come a point into which we could correspondingly step. Stepping and listening become inextricably linked until the maximum stimulation is reached. This point precedes and thus acts as a marker to which we can tie ourselves. Leaving off in this way becomes the very agency about which the revolution turns.

It is not that anything changes, however. By turning we send out and by sending out we connect. By now re-turning to this point we promote and advance, but in a relatively unusual manner. Focusing now on the difficulty becomes a question of not self control at all, but rather an abandonment of this idea altogether. Abandoning-as-moving-away diminishes and diminishes until the notion of point grows too unclear to maintain. Matters connected to purpose and profitability and which in general have proven to place themselves in a both prior and aprior position are discarded not out of any sense of valuelessness but rather as indicators of function. Without function the point inevitably turns in on itself and forces a sharpening. By sharpening we hold onto the locus and ceaselessly send out, but as directed motion. This sense of direction ties us back into ourselves and thus systematically removes the source of freedom. In the process of removal the agent loses larger and larger elements, a process which creates relative vacuums into which by necessity flow the remaining unremoved elements. Construction thus fills in empty spaces. Signaling outwards becomes itself, and thus forms a revolution of types, but a revolution whose axis rotates inside of patterns torn forcefully out of a surrounding fabric which goes increasingly unrecognized. This lack of recognition moves us towards a certain feeling of irrelevance which, if properly treated, helps move us back into the realm created by the determination of possibility. Laying out the horizon now for what to us seems like 'the first time' becomes a movement into which we can no longer hold ourselves as separated or separable. The notion of 'what I want' dissolves into the field of limitation and further bounds and guides us. By allowing this guidance we take the apparent 'collapse' and simply stop focusing. Without such a cessation the possibility which we have variously identified with elements such as faith loses its potential and becomes powerless. Flowing into the field itself now revolves and beckons us onward. Without this new revolution the required return spins not out of but in control. Being 'in control' adds an agency to action. In such an addition lies the initial temptation, but once heard addition can make no further sound. Striving now turns to a non-additive mode within which even the most central ideas begin to lose their power. Since what concerns us begins to center in on loss rather than gain we in a sense distract ourselves enough, and in this state of distraction we find that the possibility which had initially seemed not only unlikely but in essence un-thinkable begins to fill our horizon so greatly that contrary thoughts increasingly lose their hold. Thinking as such begins to be seen as a not independent, or even dependent, activity. What 'there is' turns now only on giving. Giving strips us bare and forces us into what might be seen as a primordial honesty, since we cannot give something we do not have. Thus giving means that we give what we have and so unleash an endless wave which draws out and sucks in. Without in any way wanting this [the] first manifestation (which we were attempting to hold as some kind of loss) we basically trip over ourselves and in so tripping for a moment fall just far enough away to suffer. Suffering wakes and motivates and thus we recognize that which we can say we are. In so recognizing we give back to ourselves our [the] first act we are able to engage in. In giving back we allow the faculty of re-cognition to enter into play for the first time. It is important to note that this entry always comes first, and that every time it comes it is, so to speak, first and, in being first, primary. We reach forwards and fall back into primacy. Re cognizing is profoundly not a so called mental or intellectual activity. Recognition returns us with our entire collected movements into itself. Because of the nature of this return the falling-away-from turns towards a perception of falling-back-into. Neither functions or fulfills, however, and so the only determinate action by necessity devolves into in-determinacy. By absorbing [as such] the nature and function of the bounded resumes its expansive and retractive activity.

We face such resumption with a certain trepidation, concerned that in a perceived shift some departure will necessarily insert itself. Removing everything else we take only the concern and begin to work with it. Such an application of force yields but does not produce. The matter of production demands increasing attention since as no longer looking we are not exactly sure what to rely on. The foundation we sense as missing forces an awkward reassessment. We reach out for support but find that any movement throws us off balance. Of course there is in this moment hesitation, but we determine to use this drawing back in a positive sense. A sense of explosion fills us; we are likewise filled (without any obvious sign or awareness) by the actuality of the place. Filling takes on a role independent of concern – the connection here lies in the space created by concern. Once concern has activated it detaches and, while not exactly freeing, shifts and moves the possible. Because we are not aware of this shift we mistakenly hold ourselves as foundationless, not realizing or recognizing the fundamental impossibility of such a self-holding.

Finally realizing this impossibility we stand back, pushing in uncertainty where no motion is possible. Because of this lack of possibility we turn towards the (while still apparently non-probable) in-drawing motion, sensing a certain vacuity about which we do not say anything. Because it is precisely here that we realize that there is nothing to present we are brought to a halt. The nothingness does not act as causative agent, nor does it make any announcement. This apparent silence presents such an appearance of insubstantiality that we can easily pass it by as a nothing in the field of somethings. This passing by thus turns to a departure, but a departure which makes its own demands on us: we are forced to return although our choice lies in the recognition, or lack there-of, of this certainty. Resisting such recognition acts as a consumptive force, drawing out with increasing velocity while promising us the world, which itself draws away as if simply ashamed or embarrassed for us. Sensing such delicate feeling we do not know what to say, and everything that we do come out with is forced and rigid. Once inside of the selection process the time has already passed us by in a manner of speaking – what selects has no internal governing principle and in the end follows no logic, although we favor ourselves by maintaining such a presence, if only as in that which fills the sphere of absence.

The grounds for a complete and total cessation grow increasingly powerful – the direction as choice has virtually no function and simply obstructs and so hides. Cessation as this immediate point we treat as a massive and thus impossible movement. Such a burden constructs itself as too large and thus proves its own impossibility. Following the strength of this deduction allows us the perception of liberty and self governance and thus strips away any possible grounds for an actual movement or action. Working as force expended becomes an event beyond the horizon while working as retention grows in magnitude. Because of its location beyond the presently possible we are presented with a tangled knot which pulses without any sympathy. Sensing the irrelevance of such motion we try to discard the held primacy of expended force, not realizing that the primal cannot be discarded. Within the rigidity of the discarding activity we begin to vibrate more and more violently until our sense of what is natural, which is to say of how things should be, turns on precisely this vibration – thus the distortion becomes the image and supports and maintains our motions. Because of this focus on distortion the nature of clarity becomes suspect. Religion is now held as alien, a force to be removed. What was first is thrown to the side and mocked. This mockery proves itself to be such an effective principle due to its fundamental lack of respect. Without respect what held us and drew us in, a drawing at once also a drawing away from, turns increasingly to the world. We judge it, that is, as we judge the world, as a representation within the field of representations. Stripping away the present in this manner takes us further away from activity as giving, as given. Holding ourselves now inside of the field of representations strips away any reminder of any other possibility; without such reminders the actually freely-presenting-possible is unthinkable. Being unthinkable guarantees it a place it a place within a hierarchy and so immerses it in a body of determinacy. Locating the proper position now means an aligning of your self with the determinate. We state 'I am this' and 'that is this'. Because such a logic can never prove itself wrong all you can do is laugh. Laughter frees us because we do not hold onto anything when we truly 'let ourselves go'. We locate this movement because there quite simply is nowhere else to go. We have pushed out and drawn in and now finally we locate the exact limit into which flows limitation. Flowing thus into itself in a manner of speaking it no longer holds itself as anything, which is another way of saying that it no longer 'takes itself seriously'. This lack announces without speaking, and is heard only when there is nobody listening. What we fail to recognize becomes the only possible antidote. By 'not taking seriously' we do not hold out as in front of us, and so reduce and finally eliminate any sense of rigidity.

Because we tend to shy away from our out-sending motion out of fear of somehow becoming drained we hesitate. In the first indication of purpose we turn and jump towards. This towards becomes a beacon which promises a future. Such a future promising is the moment in which passion quiets and the time arises for listening. Because cessation, or stillness, is a mandatory pre-condition we form a rough image of motionlessness. This image takes us into itself, using us as fuel for its own consumption. The condition of stillness requires that we draw back; in drawing back we begin to realize the fundamental absurdity of the process we engaged in. The engagement we drew out as a longing, and this longing becomes the point of transition. Without longing the point goes un-elaborated, because there is no distinction per se we fail to recognize the process of elaboration. Inside of work evolves a certain loosening: an indication of rest becomes a loss, and this loss turns us back and in so turning back engages us. As pushing we resolve ourselves; our motions sustain us.

We have thus arrived at the first major juncture. The words become unyielding; without a sense of direction we turn first one way, then the next. Because there does not appear any sign, nor can we speak of what presents itself as before us, we appear to be left in the dark. This darkness becomes an image but we hesitate to step into it – fear of the dark offers a primeval shelter; we pace to and fro, looking sideways at the dark place, watching our surroundings as if to find guidance there. The darkness grows and envelopes but somehow at once also does nothing. In this doing of nothing it pulls us forward, into itself. By being pulled we alter the formal structure of our existence. Because we are not holding the nature of nature returns along a likewise sideways route. Darkness sustains itself as impermeable; what penetrates dissolves into itself. The motion fades; where we now are is irrelevant – the phases themselves revolve. We do not hesitate in this moment, although if we can find another we might do so. Because we are faced with nothing there is nothing to react to. A lack of reaction becomes a positive attribute, but in its positivity it finds room to simply take itself out of the picture. As broadcast the nature becomes itself – only what is transmitted can penetrate as a point. Because we no longer know how this happens we like to say we are lost. Such of course is impossible. Being lost becomes an agency – we note this as an aside. By finally letting ourselves note in this way we manage to inscribe without using any tools. The loss we have entered into becomes an absence – without tools we are finally able to move about while still remaining inside the darkness. Inside here refers to the condition anterior, as no longer standing before us. We step back, into, that is. By holding onto this stepping back we step away from the ongoing building. Building thus ceases its additive quality – we no longer try to be more, recognizing that this more is not possible. Because this step is not a profoundly attractive one we hold it as a stepping away. The lack of attraction signals a certain safety but only in the context of a magnetic pulling towards. Because of the inherent difficulty in actually focusing on this result we turn away, towards the more apparently obvious. Because obviousness prefers to draw us on we hold it as somehow more valuable. In this state of being held in a condition of worthfulness the obvious asks us to question and thus place as a foundation the notion of worthlessness: what has no value is not obvious.

Tied into the internal pulse of this thinking we draw ourselves out to the obvious and thus away from the valueless. The addition of value becomes the prime motivator. By adding itself to what is most obvious value transforms and in transforming essentially catalyzes a new object. We then move ourselves out to, or allow our selves to be drawn towards, this object, which itself now floats on the sea of its own possibility. What was possible, or the very possibility of that possibility, now becomes a goal towards which we strive. In striving we exert ourselves; without exertion possibility remains just outside of our reach. Because what was possible now is there, right in front of our faces, the possible grows so obvious that there is no longer a felt need to question. Inside this now abandoned question lingers a certain doubt, or hesitation. This signals, however weakly, a drawing back towards which eventually must be paid attention to. By paying we demand a certain value, and so are able to utilize the existing structures, although without any advantage. Since we are drawn on by a sequence of basically and foundationally vacant propositions we become able to hold ourselves out to the darkness and so allow the lack to fill us. In so filling the absence ceases to be a negative force. As not negative no positivity is offered, however. This logic becomes unnecessary. Inside of this lack of necessity we can take it and examine its parts. In such a lightless examination the fundamental ridiculousness of the entire project begins to grow increasingly apparent.

Such a growth becomes the sign which speaks and leaves behind no residual sound. In so far as this departure cannot be considered normal we find that we have left ourselves no room. Being without such room becomes the funnel down which we find ourselves pouring. With a final breath of relief we realize that through the pursuit of absence the question of ideals has completely collapsed. Now nothing is promised; only the actual area of obscurity feeds us and propels us downwards. We say down not directionally but rather as an indication. Since nothing is indicated per se what presents before us rushes past us without recognition. Because we face a continuous stream of vacuity this non-re-cognition switches sequentially to a more profound level. In the light of this darkness thinking no longer serves as an active, or constructive, force. The standard modality of questioning de-activates; nothing is left behind, everything is used. Such a simple proposition no longer allows the judging action; the realm of the unseen can offer no guarantees. By refusing to present us with a secured, objective foundation we are forced downward until we reach the only possible arena in which to move.

Reaching down fills us with content. Because we do not expand outwards nor contract inwards there is a certain liberty within which we can more freely sense our own motivating force. Being so motivated takes us out of the inside and pushes us down. Returning to the downward flowing involves us directly in the current of motivation. Because we choose to cock our head and follow, the idea of leading ourselves loses hold quickly. The question turns to one of force: the amount in fact does not vary – the judgment carries nothing, while what we have held is collapsed. Celebrating collapse becomes an anniversary – there lies only a frozen past to block the living moment. Because we find ourselves reluctantly moving we end and draw back in fits. Without room to dress there is nothing to say. By evening the light fades and gives room to the first signs of the following day. By attaching ourselves to this moment we enter into freedom. Freedom entails but of course offers nothing. There is no reward now or in the future. What comes comes and then leaves us behind. This condition of left-behindedness motions us into itself – because there is nothing to see within the obscurity there is likewise nothing to lose. Once this state realizes itself the falling motion transforms into an active building force; one, however, that functions without tools. This freeing from tools has pulled us steadily and now dominates the horizon which bounds us. By so binding the absence of constructive devices gives us the necessary impetus to form the canyoned slope. Letting go now simply entails a permitting to fall.

Because we do not depend on anything there can be no devices. Opening into this lack becomes not even necessary since without depending the entire question of device and so division becomes increasingly irrelevant. This lack of relevance has formed as a nucleus and pushes the darkness out. As the movement goes on the light actually fuels the expanding dark space, allowing it as it were into itself, and so giving completely, leaving nothing of itself behind. This is the moment we have waited for, and so we welcome it with a sign of relief. Because the consumptive giving motion completes itself continuously we do not note any lack whatsoever: what remembers has no room in which to maneuver and so resumes its primary, following role. Once the pieces fall like this there is nothing more to describe in an active sense. Resumption, like redemption, simply describes a return, and really leaves nothing to the imagination. Description turns more to a transcribing, and the written breathes with a life of its own. Allowing to breathe we call the creative moment. Falling into this moment we will call life. Giving ourselves the room to fall we can think of as simple common sense. Following the common, that is, gives us the required space.

By trying to avoid collapse we shiver then fall into pieces. Each piece by itself is an indicator. The indicated remains a mystery; because we want very much to be real we try to do real things, and in so trying we of course are no longer real. There are no mysteries to these processes, only the reasoning goes as obscure, even so far as avoiding question. Because I hold myself in my mind I do not and cannot hold anything else. By mixing ourselves with what we are not we a) clarify what we are and b) disturb ourselves into not falling. Letting the falling happen means that despite our ideas of naturalness we really don't know anything. Because we can see trees and plants we are able to talk about branches and roots. Following each leads us down, and this depth becomes a zone of comfort. While a tree does not think about this we try to and thus derail the process. The eye of the hurricane passes us by and we are torn apart by winds. At one point, which is different for everyone, we sense the tearing. Because it is new to us, as we are new to ourselves, we don't know what to do. This non-knowing condition believes itself empty and thus instinctively tries for filling, not seeing that what we are calling instinct is only habit, albeit a very old one. Our age becomes an issue because we begin to stand apart from ourselves. Once we have completely stepped away we die. This stepping away is not a falling-down-into.

Because I hold myself as one who can see this, I too hold myself away from myself. There are certain points where harsh criticisms of ourselves seem called for, while where we want to go is not even an indication on the horizon. By spending ourselves on this moment we are not allowed any room to breathe. Our bodies want air but we give them sand. By demanding and demanding the reason for it all becomes so irrelevant that we cannot open our eyes. We have forced ourselves into a corral whose circular character gives an indication of a vague beginning. Working now in this vagueness shows us that because we do not see we stumble. The matter returns to wondering why we really feel such a pressing need to move here or there, to find outside of ourselves what does not seem to be within. Of course this search goes unfulfilled, since the continuous movement to fill transforms us into a machine mechanically motioning to the 'outside of me' and so forming a substanceless substance. The solution is not external, nor is it internal if by internal we simply mean a sphere like the external that just happens to be located inside of our boundaries. The internal is not a member of the set of internal/external. Because we are ever anxious to clarify we have difficulty seeing matters in a non-binary way. While we can pretend that this matters only a little, the fact is that what matters most has already moved away from us. By stepping away the matter has removed concentration from our vocabulary. The place we must live becomes simply somewhere to be. By transforming emphasis we fail to recognize that occupation and employment are not secondary concerns. Where we occupy ourselves is held as an external among others; the reasons for this do not become evident until we begin to open an inquiry into our surroundings. Questioning so turns into a grasping after, which itself revolves into knowledge and critique, of which criticism is merely a bastard offspring. In judgment we find the end of all thinking and perception; we are thus called away to a world with outsides and insides, forms and functions. Religion rises to call us back but can only indicate the vaguest notion that there might be something else, but what of course it cannot tell us. This failure becomes grounds for what really in many ways is a justified rejection – if it cannot tell us anything, after all, what possible use is it? So we have to move on, sensing that this particular moment is simply not right. Which does not mean that we have to carry these grounds ourselves. The idea of having or not having to carry these grounds along with us is something of a joke, of course, since no other claim has ever been coherently put forth.

But we are a little nervous now – could there not have been someone else to do the job after all? We look around, here, there, to the left and right, but we see no one. Maybe there is no one there? That will be an odd situation – we fall back to ourselves in a more or less default mode. There is no one else outside of us, just like there is no one within. We fall back on ourselves not because this is a very good idea but because that is what has happened. We have not gotten here by choice; without seeing anything else we have arrived where we are, and without really being here either we find that there might just be a door worth looking through. Because the nature of the door is fluid we do not recognize it as such right away. It stands there quivering; we are curious, it is something more than what we think, it has been there before, and it will be there again. Its shape we do not call anything; without an offering it will not open: we demand a sacrifice but today we don't know what that means although the sense is clear if we think about it. The only worthwhile thing to sacrifice is what we held most valuable but which must be discarded. Sacrifice is a surplus, and surplus cannot be held onto. In letting go there is nothing to say. Without realizing it what we have released vanishes, and so is a proof of itself. What we considered up to now is just a possibility which we are giving ourselves. Because it is hard for us to recognize how, or even that, we can give ourselves anything real, or substantial, we do not believe what we do. But we never give ourselves anything. We bypass ourselves and within this action something happens that we think of as giving. Because we keep thinking like this we slam the door shut. It shivers and splinters but in the end holds itself firm. We are here, there is nowhere else to go, the door will be where we find it, we will give what is needed, or not, as the case may be, the necessary conditions will be filled, or we will shy away in nervousness.

The presence of a door reveals itself to us not by word or image. If we do not give ourselves time to hear there will be no indication; the possible will be given a moments thought as one among a field of terms of consideration. As not more or less it fades away, not having screamed for attention. While we are used to great volume that is not where we will find anything really different. Which is not to say the door is really different. It is only an expectation of difference – we have heard it will be so different that maybe we should be careful how we go, or so we construct a thought world to protect ourselves. But from what? Why are we afraid when there is nothing to fear? Why do we want to hold onto things when they are so obviously meaningless?

We hold it differently, that is, and so it slides out of our grasp. There is no question of difference or identity, just like there is no question of internal or external.

When we come home we are welcomed. That is the feeling. There is no way when we stop looking. All that is required is a great deal of work. By sending we enter into a certain relation. Without this we are really dead. In death we have arrived, but we are not home. That is a subtle distinction. A home is made whereas death just sort of happens. When we stand somewhere we decide to call the center we are only coming back to a place we do not remember. Because we do not hold it it is there, full, complete, and not anywhere else. At the end of the cycle we are not quite sure of the circle is complete. While there is a temptation to pray the best we can do is hold out our hands. The beginning meets the end, the end floats away, we pause and there is no thought. By working things until they are complete we move outwards. Because we are alive we examine and re-examine. The words we use are not so important. Creating a place in which we can properly function is in this moment the most important thing. Because there has been word of a door we have not been able to stop ourselves from looking – "A door?", we ask ourselves. What kind and where? So in looking its substance floats off as predicted. That is not what is at issue. We call ourselves back – there is time later is a promise we can make ourselves. For now there is work to be done. Because we cannot pay attention there is no problem. We do not see or not see, so in that sense we are confronted by nothing.

There is a moment in which we do not hesitate. Everything is as it should be. Because we have rested we have been able to stop believing so much. This is the only space we can find. Speaking of now, or here, simply stops mattering in the literal sense of the word.